Old Chuckisms
This month, in honor of the How Tough Is Chuck Norris web phenomenon. We bring to you our favorite Chuck Norris “facts”.
On medicine unutilized:
“Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried.”
On creepy insomnia:
“Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.”
On Darwin reworked:
“There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.”
On night-time attire:
“Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.”
On pointless searches:
“Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.”
On little known pathology:
“The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.”
On Caesar who?
“Chuck Norris invented the Caesarian birth when he round-house kicked his way out of his mother’s belly.”
Orty, I'm impressed! You don't hear a lot of Jim Burt references these days. You are obviously a dedicated follower ...
Just in time for Father's Day! Tell the old man to get out and have the doctor give him that ...
Hey Villiage idiot "Any city in the US"? Ha ha, quite the overstatement. Have a beer.
I golfed a 14 on ...
Doc Brown invented the "flux" capacitor not the "flex" capacitor. 
Will the have less of a following this year now that they have 2 losses? They haven't lost in a ...
Comment by Ryan on 14 March 2008:
Hilarious! “He finds you”. Now tell me, who has seen Conan O’Brien’s Chuck Norris Lever? Check it out.