Old Man-isms - March
On skin-flinted practicality:
“He’s so cheap he makes his kids take off their glasses when they’re not looking at anything.”
On purveyors of stink:
“Never get in a pissing match with a skunk. You’ll end up smelling bad - plus the skunk likes it.”
On the beauty of dimension:
“No matter how flat you make a pancake it always has two sides.”
On the allure of challenge:
“Dogs don’t chase parked cars.”
On feeling appreciated:
“If you don’t think anybody cares about you, just miss a couple car payments…”
On early deficits - glass half full:
“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.”
On death ideal:
“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
On ironic urban sprawl:
“Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.”
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