Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - the market has already discounted the change.

Q: Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
A: Because we’ve just finished a long March.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.

Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A: He’s all right now.

Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.

Q: What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: Where do you find a no legged dog?
A: Right where you left him.

Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They’re trying to get away from the noise.

Dog Who Played Baseball

During the local match, a spectator was surprised to see a dog walk onto the pitch and start pitching; eventually striking out the other all star team, and scoring two home runs.

“That’s incredible!” he exclaimed to the man next to him.

“Yes,” he said, “but he’s a terrible disappointment to his parents. They wanted him to play football.”

You Might Be a Salesperson if…

1) You refer to dating as test marketing.

2) When you bought a new house you called your fellow alumni and offered to name a room after them, if they’ll help with the down payment.

3) Your favorite stories begin “Bob Jones, VP of marketing, sat at his desk and stared out his window…”

4) When you give your son his birthday present, you must say that it has an “unprecedented performance”.

5) When you describe a product as “maintenance-free” you mean that it is impossible to fix it.

6) You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.